taco eater :
Baird Bergenthal from Midway City, CA United States
Dredged up from the canals of Venice, come the finest boat anchor ever produced. intense aging process includes filling it with dirt to ensure a rust-tight seal. Tired of loose bolts? Fear not, our bolts won't come out. patented "corroded aluminum thread locker," will guarantee you hours of family fun freeing them. And surprises inside! In an amazing feat of magic, the stub clutch has vanished, with no evidence of case tampering! But that's not all! Our vintage doorstops come with a bizarre ignition system that not even are most knowledgeable technicians have seen before! Electronic? Points? cold fusion reactor? Who knows! Only time will tell! But first, you need our unique "WTF size giant puller" to remove the magneto. Your new paperweight may or may not come with a piston. Whatever is rusted inside the cylinder may be a piston, or it may be a quantum-lock that freezes the cylinder in time, ensuring it'll never come loose! Just go ahead and try, we dare you!
Best gondola anchor ever 
